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Survey: "My best roommate" intolerable
"Girls usually more liberal arts classes, bedroom relationship would be a little more subtle, girls in interpersonal relationships less open-minded boys, some trivial matters could lead to very serious contradictions." A college counselor in a city Jiang teacher (a pseudonym) told reporters that he had many years ago with an undergraduate class, where two girls are roommates, would get along okay, but some bumps. One day, while another one of the girls in the bath a few candid photos. After being photographed girls aware, angrily accused the roommate asked her to immediately delete the photo. Those who do not know how you can take out the psychological, insisted on not deleted, so that was shot "bath according to" The girls are very panic. Two girls because "bath according to the" contradiction event grow bigger, the whole bedroom utter confusion. In desperation, the girls being photographed recourse to counselors.
However, the Hillsborough said the recent poisoning case Fudan University, Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics stabbed case, etc., are among the extreme case, in fact, most college students living with roommates although occasional friction, but the overall relationship is good.
Ideal roommate relationship "with the slapstick talk about anything."
Fudan University School of Fudan University freshman small promise is of Jiangsu, we lived in a four bedroom,mbt scarpe outlet, but actually only 2 people live.
Professor Ma Ying-treated one case: a bedroom with three girls other girls complained that or let her move out of the bedroom,http://gamers-online.net/bbs/gombbs.cgi, or they move out of the bedroom. This is so because the girls grumpy, often punching the other three girls get angry, to say nasty words. To this end, a few girls and even a fight. Ma Ying understand the situation that led to the two sides at loggerheads reasons are some old habits, such as someone to wash too long, if you want to open the window,http://www.com-corporation.co.jp/omaezaki/cgi-bin/bbs/light.cgi, put his things into someone else's table.
Ma Ying suggested that universities should target graduate students, doctoral psychology electives open, and let them realize that, with the psychological problems after not stuffy in the heart, into the counseling room should seek help. She also cautioned students, between students once had a conflict, to remain calm, to find the same age friends, teachers or counselors to talk, avoid depression and inner contradictions outbreak.
Others steal snacks roommate did not apologize
Solution:
Professor Ma Ying, director of the Mental Health Research and Education Center of Ocean University Students think, Fudan poisoning case to College issued a warning: pay more attention to graduate students of mental health problems. "Currently, the Psychological Education of College focused on undergraduates." But in fact, increase, improve the professional knowledge of education, may not be converted to enhance the overall quality of the human. "Like I said earlier, the more outstanding student achievement, the more prone to interpersonal problems. Most graduate students are better academic performance,http://wiki.oreillynet.com, easy in normal life, self-centered, look at the problem may be absolute, so Their psychological education can not be ignored. "
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Chen admitted that the freshman, sophomore dorm room or playing heavy heart, but after the junior year, PubMed, abroad, employment, content to consider more, among the students in the dormitory of energy naturally less, this changes in the relationship between her feel a little bit lost.
"We ask the counselor to do four 100%, ie 100% of one semester brought the class traveled bedroom, with 100 percent of the students to talk, to 100% of the students do a counseling mental health education to 100% guide students to career planning. "After Hillsborough said.
That, first, with the college enrollment, a bedroom, students may come from around the country, cultural differences, differences in lifestyle ...... problems all at once exposed by the Hillsborough analysis. Second, basic education, students 'intellectual growth are overly concerned, teachers and parents of students' psychological health, personality create enough attention, let alone professional, resulting in slow attitude adjustment after students enter college, "not a lot of big life students, but high four students,http://www.tokyotales.com/mt_admin/mt-search.cgi, their mindset is still stuck at the secondary level, which will affect their interpersonal patterns. " Third, now college students, "not in the same class students", "students in different classes," the phenomenon is very common, multi-disciplinary, cross-college students to get to know more friends stay order, but also caused some problems, such as some students find roommates AC difficult, especially at "90", "95" after relatively self, not used to take the initiative to communicate with others, so that rapport bedroom relationship has become a luxury. Fourth, regardless of the home environment, the only child grew up in the care of their parents grew up, resulting in a new generation of college students now, whether good or bad family conditions, there is a sense of superiority. However, the differences between rich and poor in the bedroom is always exposed the most direct impact of differences in material conditions are often hard to adapt to the bedroom is not conducive to unity. Fifth, academic difficulties may also lead to the deterioration of interpersonal relationships bedroom. Some students from primary school all the way top student, to the university only to find that the same dormitory roommate on a lot better than you, hearts filled with a sense of loss, injustice meaning, some students lost very easily shut ourselves up, leading to affect relationships.
Universities should pay more attention to education freshmen off
In the interview, the reporter noted that, relatively speaking, low-grade student dormitory relations are generally preferred. Also, if the same roommate elective table, usually with the same opportunities into multiple, relations will be more intimate.
Chen tried to analyze the reasons: "Our freshman and sophomore classes are basically the same, everyone on the class ate together, go out and back to the bedroom, but the junior table as our enrollment changes, usually time together. less, plus we are busy learning, on each of the tubes. "
Wang Feng said that after the rise to seniors, because schoolwork, job pressure is relatively large, the day he was rarely in the dormitory, the dormitory for him is a hard place to sleep.
Sophomore Fudan University School of Public Health Chen Qian (a pseudonym) from Henan. Small to large for the first time live in a dormitory on the University, he admits that he is still at the beginning of dormitory life expectation of a relatively large, but two years down the chance to read a little disappointed.
(Original title: intimate partners or "Need roommate" "his first lessons" to learn to be tolerant)
These posts come from the Baidu Post Bar, watercress network, the World Forum and other network platforms. In watercress network, for example, to indicate the number of posts roommate a lot of complaints and dissatisfaction, the number of responses, some of thousands of posts. There are discussion groups directly to the "wonderful roommate" in the name of its members showed 2225 people. In addition, emotional class, academic pressure type message also account for a large proportion, subject contains the search for solutions, seeking comfort, and so on.
Evening News reporter Zhang Qian Zhu Meng Xue Yu Ran intern Jiang Jing Li Zheng Yi reported
Reporters in the Baidu search box enter the word "wonderful roommate", press the Enter key, such as "open Pa my best roommate" "roommate snoring also molars," "inventory of 11 kinds of wonderful roommate." Occupy this post full Full screen, relevant search results, about 1,790,000 points. Then enter the word "university pressure", "university entrance examination pressure feeling worse than", "University of why so much pressure !!!" such relevant content is overwhelming, relevant search results up to 14.8 bar.
Ma Ying pointed out the contradiction bedroom universities and students in primary and secondary levels of education are closely related. In schools, teachers and parents value the children's achievements, but also for the children of parents deal with the many issues on human relationships, so many students lack the experience of interpersonal communication, empathy do not know, all self-centered. "I found that the more outstanding student achievement, the more prone to interpersonal problems."
"Roommate is simply a 'wonderful', if I open the post broke the news online, the effect is certainly not worse than those online!" When Lee wooden sophomore from Shanghai Maritime University (a pseudonym) in the case when asked about getting along with a roommate replied, "I have several times found myself a few little snack bag, began to suspect suspicious of their own, there is a back bedroom to see my roommate took the eating, I asked her, 'You eat my snack ' she Only back saying 'yes ah.' nothing else, I was very angry, thinking also, and she lived a few years it endured did not turn in the evening to sleep snoring I would not say, and now are in the habit a. "
He called for the strengthening of graduate psychological education
Timetable different effects roommate intimacy
She met the reporter asked how to deal with such a situation, she reluctantly smiled down, saying "how can I do, can only spit Tucao friends chatting." Whether it comes to their counselor will find the time to communicate, She thought the next, replied, "No, teachers do not help us solve these problems, the hostel does not mean that change can be traded."
Students ideal for a roommate relationship is like
According to the professor, director of the Mental Health Research and Education Center of Shanghai Ocean University Students Ma Ying introduced, and now, bedroom contradiction in colleges and universities is more common phenomenon, relatively speaking, contradictory some more girls dormitory.
Faced with such a dispute between female students, young male counselors also feel embarrassed. Teacher Jiang said he was looking for the first time to take pictures of the girls talk, mild and no lack of seriousness told her candid kind of private photos has infringed the privacy of others, suspected of illegal, asked her attitudes and remove the roommate of "bath according to" immediately Otherwise, you can ask the police to intervene. Pictures of the girls just agreed to delete the photo.
Wang Feng admitted that he actually started junior high school accommodation, dormitory living for quite accustomed. In contrast, the junior high school dormitory tube was quite strict, time to turn off the lights, cleaning and so on has strict requirements. The university then nobody was so much more freedom. Their dormitory or bunk old, he personally likes sleeping bunk beds, this arrangement is quite satisfactory. Desk beginning is placed in a row, but soon "fall apart" everyone is free to move to their comfortable position.
"We have four roommates are from different professions, different schedule so everyone have their own thing, relatively few of our common topic roommate relationship can only say that like a general." Chen Qian said that his ideal roommate relations should be good friends talk about anything with each other, often go out to play. But now, they have not reached the level talk about anything, opportunity to go out to play is not particularly high.
In the interview,hogan outlet milano, the reporter also found that some students do not know their own school counseling agencies, "only know that the school did a great moment for us Psychological Test, talks as if there once, others do not know, feel psychological relatively small agency activities. "Xu Shanghai University, said students.
Female students to roommate beat "bath photo"
Guo Chen from Shanghai University sophomore (a pseudonym) told reporters the students poured from the grievances: "freshman roommate Let stand a few are not, every cinema do not wear headphones to listen to music usually no problem. especially after the lights everyone to sleep, she was still there playing very loudly, we open a small voice, she said that she still ignore us. There were many times she was still in the bedroom after lights out and someone calls, voices particularly large, we really can not stand. "
"Our bedroom was a student dropped out because of physical relationship, there is a Shanghai student, not to report, I heard that test to the Hong Kong University to go. Bedroom only me and another student to live, will often have other bedroom, students envy. But I think that the relationship,http://www.sokeizai.or.jp, although very quiet bedroom, very comfortable, but not too busy,http://moodle.ndna.org.uk/login/index.php?item/create_form/1, somewhat lonely. "Little Xu said she imagined bedroom relationship should be more intimate number, we play together, go together class, now very good roommate relationship, is that too few people.
"He was in Hunan, he said cooking is a hobby of his. He felt he did very good, to ask us to eat, we had eaten start, but then we do not eat, do not want to eat. He likes to cook a lot of strange things, you know mussel He actually fried mussels in the bedroom, the dormitory neighborhood very fishy, summer will provoke a lot of flies. "
Donghua University Environmental Art Design senior Wang Feng (a pseudonym) is of Jiangsu, has been living in the school four-year university campus Yan'an 4 people the bedroom. University for four years, into the bedroom where there is a staff. Shanxi has a roommate before, then do exchange students abroad, and came back, girlfriends, they do not live at the dormitory to rent an apartment. Bedroom has moved to a Zhejiang. The other two roommates are Hunan and Shanghai. But Shanghai people live at home, rarely live bedroom.
"Gourmet" in the dorm roommate fried mussel
Zhao Han school committee, director of East China University of Information Engineering, has over ten years of counselors, she told reporters that the majority of college boys, bedroom contradiction mostly by some students habits triggered. For example, some of the boys playing computer games to play to the middle of the night, interfering with the sleep of others. Some boys also personal hygiene is a problem, so my roommates complain incessantly.
Talked about how schools should coordinate the student dormitory interpersonal difference, two workers Chanting Hillsborough teacher said,http://www.auto-tsukamoto.com/hpgen/epad/epad.cgi, first make a good freshmen education this pass, to help establish a sense of new life: After entering university, as part of a team, not self-centered, to learn to collaborate with each other.
For Donghua University junior Chen, a dormitory in the relationship has been on the decline. "Freshman, sophomore, we relations are good, but the junior obviously feel differently. Previous quarters very busy, but now relatively cool a little."
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For the bedroom relationship, he used the word "OK, or habits have major differences" words to describe. But with the topic in depth, Wang Feng could not help but complain:
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Why Students of University dormitory had become contradictory to focus on the outbreak Why is this roommate that intimate situation with the fire In this regard, the Director of the Shanghai Second Polytechnic University students after Hillsborough, said all aspects of the factors that will affect the students' dormitory interpersonal relationships, not simply isolated to discuss an element.
Later, Jiang teacher looking for two girls talk, help them open "bath according to the" incident left knot, education they were in the same bedroom requires tolerance, mutual care and help them sum up, aware of their habits is difficult They accepted the place, and thus be improved.
Wang Qing from the Shanghai Conservatory of Music (a pseudonym) always felt their learning, tired of life, and few friends, a boy his crush on their own did not feel, "For some pain, I would choose myself survive, sometimes They will be in their own micro-Bo said, "She added:." But watchlist Among my microblogging never know who added "
After learning of this situation, the counselor did not this name "Need roommate" off the premises, but went through his files and found that his background is rather special. His parents grew up not at his side, pulled his grandparents adults. "After discussion, we counselor believes that this growth environment led to the child's psychological problems. His bad health habits are likely to be caused by a psychological problem, think this way to attract people's attention."
University two years down, Chen Qian handed friends talk about anything yet Chen Qian frankly, has not yet formed, he is still developing. For information on how to improve the roommate relationship, Chen Qian suggested: "I hope can have a number of units in the hostel let us participate in group activities, should be able to improve our hostel centripetal force."
View: roommate conflicts can only face can not be avoided
Psychological dredge so that "long-haired wild man" return
"I think, deal with problem students, should take positive guidance-oriented." Han Zhao said, "has put forward a number of students expelled from dormitory roommate, we generally do not agree, but the two sides work to do, because if he changed to another bedroom,chaussure nike tn pas cher, and his habits do not change, it will also harm other dorm room. "
"Self-centered" make girls trivia fight
A new generation of college students how to deal with the Church must be completed by their own "Life Lesson" Schools, parents and the community how should help them succeed
After the lights do not wear headphones to listen to music roommate
"After consultation, I found that the complaint was indeed a problem with the girls." Professor Ma said. According to the analysis, she is the only child at home is very pet her parents, so she developed a things without considering the feelings of others, self-centered of bad habits. After university, she put this behavior to the dormitory, things took a little disagreeable roommate when punching bag, causing the bedroom contradictions.
After Hillsborough, he said counselors, teachers should strengthen the student's interest, if an exception should be early psychological intervention, so as to prevent fatal accidents. In Shanghai Second Polytechnic University counselors work evaluation meeting, each counselor faced a challenge - Meeting Room stochastic shows a counselor brought the class in which a student's photo on the big screen, counseling Members must immediately respond to the student's name, learning, family background and other information, in order to detect the student counselors understand, concerns the degree. Some students picture looks somewhat fuzzy, and some students in the photos of the heavy makeup, but the eyes of the instructors still could make out their students, and their situation familiar.
Many university students' mentality is still "high four students"
"The most harmonious roommate relations" must work together to build
This reporter visited the student dormitory of the city's many colleges and universities, that currently the majority of students in the school after 85, 90, interpersonal risk because growth environment, the only child living habits, personality differences and other factors, there are many, Many of the students because some of the old habits, such as fried mussel in the dorm room, eating snacks others, do not wear headphones to listen to music after lights out, face time is too long and so even blows. But talk about anything intimate partners when "sleeping in my upper berth brother", but when you become intolerable "Need roommate."
Although the school has counseling room, but did not want to go to Wang Qing, her reason is:. "Not looking, do not bother" and wooden Maritime University Li replied, "I know the school psychological center, but I do not know Who psychology teacher. And I feel like speaking classmates, no need to go and the teacher said. "
Found root of the problem, counselor to talk with him several times, hoping he change themselves, to change their health habits from the start. Talk time, students still did not get a haircut, counselor to accompany him to reason. The teachers also do the work of other students, I hope they have forgiving heart, let the poor child felt the warmth of the campus. Through the efforts of a long time, the student finally "return to modern society", into the bedroom collective.
"There is a roommate sleep snoring, fights we can not sleep well. Begin not used to, also came against him, he was very sorry, but snoring is not to say he wanted to get rid of that change can only be nothing , over time, whenever they hear him snoring, I knocked hard bed. I'm used to try to fall asleep than he like. "
According to reports, East China University freshmen, the school will give each bedroom is equipped with a "new warden." These wardens are excellent mentors, they will freshman dorm life guidance and answering. In case of conflict, they are also home to mediation. After the first semester freshmen, the school will hold "bedroom culture festival" and demanded a room name from each bedroom, and the bedroom culture exhibition for roommates in this atmosphere and promote the exchange of feelings.
Recently, Shanghai, Nanjing and more tragedy because universities roommates get along with problems caused by. Students bedroom relationship has thus become the focus of attention.
In Ma Ying view, "the girls fight" this case is actually quite good, because conflicts have erupted out; more dangerous some cases, it is the contradiction between the students pent up individual students to other students grudge, this mentality can lead to tragedy. Fudan poisoning case, Majiajue murder is typical of this type of tragedy.
Some College Students exclusion "counseling"
Wang Feng said that they are not sleeping 4 people congenial personality, very few common interests, can not play a little. In particular so that he is one of the offensive roommate like the dormitory when the kitchen, in the bedroom, cooking, cooking, so that the room was filled with a variety of flavors.
Zhao Han impressed "Need roommate" is a student from the countryside. He basically does not take a bath, wash your hair, changing his shoes, nor the barber, "I can say, just like a person in modern society." This student into the quarters a few days, which will make it the odor emanating unbearable roommates unanimously complained to counselors, proposed to allow the "savages" immediately move to the bedroom. |
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發表於 2015-7-6 15:33:37
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